Mind Games

It is amazing to me how as soon as you get married, how quickly people start asking THE question.  You know the one- is there a bun in your oven?  Are you trying?  Do you want little ones?  Anytime you feel ANYTHING everyone asks THE question.  It can be a bit overwhelming/annoying/frustrating when it comes at you all the time.  Rather than answering politely, I really just want to scream “IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!”  And I am thinking, Yes, we are trying, No we are not pregnant, Yes, I wish I was.

In addition to fighting the incessant interrogation, you have to fight your own brain and body through the process of TTC.  Trying to monitor every signal your body is giving you in relation to the timing of the act to make a little one is stressful and overwhelming… and what if you are wrong?  Then, the two-week-wait, in which every headache, stomach twinge, case of heart burn makes you wonder, and all you are thinking is no-it-can’t-mean-anything-it-is-too-early-to-poas.  The whole two weeks crawl by with you wondering if you are imagining these “symptoms” or if they are the real deal.  It is a crazy mind game!  Then, you start the whole POAS ritual, you pee, you wait, and try to see something, nervous the whole time.

You sit and wonder- is you mind playing a game or is this what you think it is.  And if it isn’t, you start again next month, with a head and heart full of doubt-hope-anticipation.

We are still new to the whole TTC arena, but boy is it stressful!  Riding the roller coaster of emotions up and down as we wait to see if we will be graced with a little one of our own.


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Filed under mind games, TTC

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